30th November

An era came to an end today in 1936 when Joseph Paxton's Crystal Palace burnt down. Built in 1851 for the Great Exhibition, the astonishing building, of glass and wrought iron, was moved to Sydenham Park where it continued to be an attraction. The flames could be seen as far away as Brighton and even to the last, the Palace drew crowds - special trains were laid on to watch it burn.

They had a chance to rebuild the Palace in 2000 for the Millennium but did they? Oh, no. They built the O2 instead ....

In other news ...

Oscar Wilde died today in 1900 in Paris. Dazzling wit, playwright, raconteur, he fell foul of the bigotry of Britain (especially the rabid anti-homosexuality Act of Henry Labouchere MP) and died in poverty. He is buried in the great cemetery of Pere Lachaise. Pay your respects next time you're there.

29th November

Today was the day, in 1831, when the Duke of Wellington famously described his soldiers as 'the scum of the earth, enlisted for drink'. He went on to say (and this is hardly ever added to the quotation) 'but we have made men of them.'

Good old Nosey!

In other news ...

The first English newspaper went on sale today in 1641. It offered a dream fortified manor house; you could send for a CD of Thomas Tallis's Greatest Hits and the Sports Pages were full of the latest Real Tennis scandals in which the game's audience shouted racist insults at the players.

The start of a great tradition.

P.S. Sir Peregrine Leveson agreed and said he saw a great future for the Press and what a fine job King Charles was doing running the country.

28th November

The German physicist Max [no relation] Planck said it all today in 1934 when he wrote, 'A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light but rather because its opponents eventually die out and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it.'

So, in reality, every word of the Bible is true; the earth is about 6,000 years old (and flat); Phlogiston occurs in every chemical experiment; Frank Sinatra had a good singing voice and babies are delivered by storks.

I knew it!

In other news ...
Horse racing was banned today in 1967 because of an epidemic of Foot and Mouth disease. Whenever such disasters occur, the government of the day leaps in with ludicrous, over-the-top measures. Foot and Mouth? Destroy all cattle. Salmonella in eggs? Destroy all chickens. Oil tanker spillages? Destroy all tankers. Global warming? Stop spraying your armpits.

Actually nature has been coping with all these issues for centuries, without the help of the British government or its biased, obsessive scientific think tanks.

And on a personal level, it would be not humanly possible to be in a room with up to twenty teenage boys without the addition of many gallons of Lynx. You may mock that most sledgehammer of deodorants, but without it ... I don't want you to even have to imagine it!

27th November

Women Policemen appeared on Britain's streets today in 1914 (I have been obliged to insert this piece on account of my good lady wife - Inspector Carpenter-Maxwell - having me in a half Nelson). The uniform was awful and it had three little buttons at the side of the mid-calf length skirt so that they could unbutton them to chase baddies. What could they do once they caught them? Nothing. This was only an experiment and they weren't given powers of arrest until 1922. Presumably they had to ask Chummy to stay put while they went in search of a real policeperson. Ouch - the Mem's half Nelson has now turned into a Full Nelson and I've lost the use of one arm and am blind in one eye.

In other news ...
A Bible printed in the 15th century was sold at Christie's auction house today in 1991. The Good Book? It had better be - it cost £1.1 million!

26th November

New York had its first streetcar (horsedrawn of course) today in 1832. It ran between 14th and Spring Street and was called Desire.

Of course.

In other news ...

One of the most spectacular finds in archaeology took place today in 1922 when Howard Carter and his backer, the Earl of Caernarvon, broke through to the uninvaded tomb chambers of the Egyptian pharaoh Tutankhamen in the Valley of the Kings.

Just think - without that we would never have had the Indiana Jones series ...

25th November

Yesterday I mentioned Charles Darwin. He was never quite able to include Man in his natural selection argument, but others did, especially Thomas Huxley who wiped the floor spectacularly with Bishop 'Soapy Sam' Wilberforce of the Church of England in Oxford in 1860. The question of the authority of the Bible was much talked about and today in 1864, the Conservative Party's 'hatchet man', Benjamin Disraeli, famously said, 'Is man an ape or an angel? I, my lord, am on the side of the angels.'

Except that William Gladstone, the Liberal Party and an awful lot of Conservatives, disagreed with that.

In other news ...
The KKK got back together again today in 1915 in Georgia. The original Klan targeted the newly-freed slaves after the Civil War but this one targeted:-

• Blacks
• Jews
• Catholics
• Immigrants
• Communists
• Pacifists
• Darwinians.

The Klan is in decline today because there is almost nobody who is considered fit to join.

24th November

The deeply unpleasant misogynist, John Knox, died today in 1572. Scottish Protestants think he was the best thing since sliced bread but then there were those who thought Adolf Hitler was a pretty good egg too.

In other news ...
Charles Darwin published his Origin of Species today in 1859. Two things to note about this -

1. Of three famous books published in the same year (Darwin's, Samuel Smiles's Self Help and Mrs Beeton's Household Management) only Mrs Beeton went on to make any money.
2. Some people today still regard Darwin's natural selection as a theory only. Didn't they watch Inherit the Wind? 

23rd November

You know my views on Crippen. Even before we realized that the body in the basement of his house at 63 Hilldrop Crescent couldn't have been Mrs Crippen (Belle Elmore) because it was make, I thought they should have given him a medal because she was so horrible. Everybody disagreed of course and they hanged him at Pentonville today in 1910.

The Tufnell Park One is innocent.

In other news ...
Bill Pratt was born today in 1887. Who he, I hear you ask. He became Boris Karloff in later life, legend of Frankenstein, The Mummy and The Body Snatcher. Other film stars who weren't going to make it with their own monikers include:-

• Laruska Skikne (Laurence Harvey)
• Issur Danielovitch (Kirk Douglas)
• Diana Fluck (Diana Dors)
• Frances Gumm (Judy Garland)
• George Crane (Randolph Scott)
• Bacteria Cuniculus (Bugs Bunny).

22nd November

We all remember where we were today in 1963. There was a nightmare on Elm Street, Dallas as somebody gunned down John F Kennedy, riding through the city in an open-topped Lincoln convertible with his wife, Jackie and the governor of Texas, John Connolly and his wife. Millions of words, umpteen documentaries, a handful of movies, official and unofficial enquiries and nearly half a century - and still we don't know who did it.

In other news ...
Richard Strauss unveiled his new opera today in Dresden. The year was 1901 and the opera was about a team of dedicated scientists beavering away to cure the common cold. It was called Feuersnot.

21st November

Father Frances Xavier came back from two years in Japan today in 1551. He was the first Westerner to live among the Japanese and said of them '... no finer people will be found.'

That's because he wasn't building the Burma-Thailand Railway.

In other news ...
Today in 1906 a man died in Glasgow when 300,000 gallons of whisky burst out of vats. He had to get out three times to go to the loo.

What do you mean, you've heard it before? It was pretty new in 1906.

20th November

Sir Anthony Blunt, Surveyor of the Queen's paintings, was stripped of his knighthood today in 1979 when it emerged that he was the 'fourth man' spying for the Russians along with Philby, Burgess and Maclean. And I was reminded of other notables whose titles had been removed over the years: -

• Screaming Lord Sutch
• all of Lord Rockingham's Eleven
• Duke John Wayne
• Sirhan Sirhan

In other news ...
Casimir Funk died today in 1967. Never heard of him? He was apparently the chappie who coined the word 'vitamin'. What a waste. With a fantastic name like his we could have had phrases like 'The disease is caused by a casimir deficiency' and 'Funk B12'. It's too late now.

19th November

President Abraham Lincoln delivered one of the most brilliant speeches in History today in 1863. It was also one of the shortest and has come to be known as the Gettysburg Address. It's so brilliant it is worth quoting in full.

'Ladies and Gentlemen, my address is 339B John Wilkes Booth Road, Gettysburg.'

Absolutely brilliant.

In other news ...
Today in 1908 a court in St Petersburg had to be adjourned because the prosecuting counsel refused to proceed against Russia's first female barrister. Tcha! I am forced to cry. They'll be demanding women bishops in the Church of England next ...

Wait a minute ...

18th November

In honour of National Doo Dah Day there is no blog for this Sunday.

We have been out to the Christmas shop, Heaven help us, and I have a strange time warp thing going on which is making History hard to fathom. Surely, Christmas 2011 was only last week? I know I keep finding bits of tinsel all over the house every time I move anything. So, either Christmas 2011 was last week or Metternich is moonlighting as one of Santa's elves.

17th November

Richard Nixon said today in 1973, 'I am not a crook' and that sent me in search of other serial deniers in History, e.g. -

• 'I am not, therefore I am' - Jean Paul Satre
• 'I am not for turning' - Margaret Thatcher
• 'I am not going to invade Poland' - Adolf Hitler (1938)
• 'Oh, yes I am' - Adolf Hitler (1939)
• I am a knot garden' - Capability Brown

In other news ...
The first successful British submarine voyage took place today in 1904 from Southampton to the Isle of Wight. The two principal ferry companies that serve the Island were both interested in acquiring the passenger franchise. But then they couldn't be arsed.

Further to this, Wightlink, or so my old mate M J Trow tells me, have axed umpteen sailings from their schedule, meaning that getting home after even the most modest evening out on the mainland is, for Islanders, darned near impossible. As a ferry is the only option they have, the uptake of theatre tickets and other treats will be markedly reduced in all the towns along the South Coast will see a knock-on effect as they hunker down and watch paint dry at home instead of sallying forth to enjoy a night out. Well done, Wightlink, for trying to return a whole county to the Dark Ages. And come along, ferry entrepreneurs - you must be out there somewhere.

16th November

A crowd of 200,000 watched today in 1724 as Jack Sheppard, safebreaker and highwayman was 'turned off' at Tyburn. Remember that odd little film Where's Jack? with Tommy Steele in the title role? Well, the real Jack was nearly that cute, apparently, with large, Johnny Depp style eyes and a slight stammer. He escaped twice from the condemned cell at Newgate and nobody knows quite how he did it. They just don't make rogues like him any more.

In other news ...
'It is beginning to be hinted that we are a nation of amateurs,' said Lord Rosebery today in 1900. The only annoying thing is that it took him so long to realize that.

15th November

The Deutschmark was introduced in Weimar Germany today in 1923. Inflation was so galloping that a loaf of bread cost 200,000,000 marks. Anybody having a coffee in the Alexanderplatz in Berlin paid for it before they sat down. By the time they got up, it might cost ten time the starting price.

In other news ...
William Pitt the Elder, the Earl of Chatham, was born today in 1708. Because of his relatively humble birth, he was sometimes called the Great Commoner. There were those who believed they didn't come any greater. And there were those who believed you couldn't be any commoner. Well done to his parents though, for their foresight in actually calling him William Pitt The Elder Earl Of Chatham. A bit of a mouthful at the font, perhaps, but it no doubt helped him in his early parliamentary days.

14th November

Today in 1952 the first 'Top Ten' of what the young people called the Hit Parade was published in NME (Not Musically Exciting). Vera Lynn was No 1 with 'Homing Waltz'. Jo Stafford was at No 2 with 'You Belong to my Heart' and Nat King Cole was third with 'Somewhere Along the Way'. All too soon, it was all going to get much, much worse.

In other news ...
The worst bombing raid to hit Coventry was mounted tonight in 1940. The Cathedral was left a smoking shell, there were 554 deaths and 865 injured. 449 bombers dropped 503 tons of bombs. The phrase 'to coventrate' became part of the English language.

13th November

Mary Phelps Jacob did womankind a great service today in 1914 by patenting the 'backless brassiere', originally made out of two handkerchiefs and a piece of ribbon. The Germans used the far more expressive name Bustenhalter for the new gizmo which has caused generations of fumbling teenagers a great deal of trouble.

In other news ...
An institution met for the first time today in 1920 which holds the record for the most feeble decisions in History. It met in Geneva and was called the League of Nations.

12th November

John Bunyan, the Baptist preached, was gaoled today in 1660 for preaching without a licence. In fact he spent years in gaol from time to time, clashing with the Quakers and the Church of England. His son, Paul - a big lad - emigrated to the States and became a lumberjack where he clashed with Sequoias and Scots Pines.

In other news ...

King Cnut died today in 1035. He was a brilliant ruler, warrior, statesman, law giver and all-round good egg. Yet despite the rather excellent biography written by M J Trow,  Cnut: Emperor of the North people still spell his name Canute and trot out that stupid rubbish about the tide.

11th November

At eleven o'clock this morning in 1918 the War to End Wars ended. The conflict that everybody said would be over by Christmas 1914 had lasted four years and 97 days. The stats are terrifying - 9 million dead, 27 million wounded. The Allies' bill was £68.5 billion; the Central Powers £32.6 billion.

And the world would never be the same again.

In other news ...
I've never really understood Ned Kelly. He was an Australian outlaw hanged today in 1880 after a bank robbing career of just two years. He wore body armour - a breastplate and helmet made of iron. Perhaps he expected a role in The Man in the Iron Mask, then playing in the Melbourne Lyceum. Whatever the reason, the gear must have slowed him up a bit which probably enabled the Oz police to catch him in the first place.

10th November

The Berlin Wall was smashed through in two places today in 1989, an iconic moment which effectively marked the beginning of the end of the 'evil empire' of the Communist Soviet Union. Pieces of the Wall became the new true cross, relics which changed hands for large sums of money. There were so many pieces of the Wall on the market that there was clearly some confusion with the Wall of China. 'All in all,' as Pink Floyd once said, 'We're just another chink in the Wall.'

In other news ...
Dick Jenkins was born today in 1925. Who he? I hear you cry. Well, he was a fine Shakespearean actor and famous drunk who married Liz Taylor sixteen times or thereabouts. Does that give you a clue?

9th November

The Stealth bomber was unveiled today in 1988, a sneaky beast that can't be detected by radar, but can - as we now know - be shot down. I was idling my time during the First Gulf War in a London antique market and I heard a customer ask the stall owner if he had any bits of Stealth aircraft for sale. In those long-gone naive days we all assumed he was a hopeful collector rather than a terrorist. Of course, the stall holder said, 'No, sorry, I'm afraid you're asking for the impossible.' He looked at the customer, winked and said, 'Come back tomorrow and I'll see what I can do.' I've often wondered whose side he was on.

In other news ...

Charles de Gaulle died today in 1970. He was the one, according to Allo! Allo! with the big 'ooter. This man was leader of the Free French army during World War Two and a complete pain in the backside to everybody he met. When they made the remake of Day of the Jackal I hoped the sniper would get him this time.

8th November

Lord Lucan vanished today in 1974. He in all probability killed his children's nanny, Sandra Rivett, in mistake for his wife and drove off into the night, leaving his car abandoned at Newhaven. Did he drown himself in the Channel? Hide out with Dr Josef Mengele in Paraguay? Become Banksy? For a quick read and run-through of the facts if you are unfamiliar with this classic true crime whodunnit and you have what I believe you young people call a Kindle, then have a look at  this.

If you're reading this, my lord, time to come home, I think. You've 'lain doggo' for long enough.

In other news ...
Edward Halley was born today in 1656. He was a Renaissance man years after the actual Renaissance and had a comet (Edward's Comet) named after him and went on to form an orchestra. He is the father of Halley Berry.

7th November

Benito Mussolini became leader of the National Fascist Party in Italy today in 1921. You've got to hand it to dictators - they have a great line in titles. Mussolini became Il Duce; Hitler was Der Fuhrer, Franco was El Caudillo. Even our own home grown Oliver Cromwell was Lord Protector. And what have we got now? Minister for Sport, for the Environment and Without Portfolio.

In other news ...
Helen Suzman, the anti-apartheid campaigner was born today in 1917. I just loved her in Nicholas and Alexandra.

For anyone fortunate enough to live in the Isle of Wight, pop your wellies on tonight and get on down to the Riverside Centre in Newport, where my old mate M J Trow is giving a talk on crime. It is somewhat of a sideline of his - the plan is he gives the talks and then his accomplice, Joe 'the Horse' Bomparini nips round everyone's houses and cleans out their jewellery. Well, it beats working for a living.

6th November

I always felt a bit sorry for the Hawker Hurricane. It flew for the first time today in 1935, had 4 machine guns in each wing and a top speed of 325 mph at 20,000 feet. It was eclipsed by the Spitfire almost entirely because of the name. A Hurricane is a natural disaster; spitting fire is all about being unpleasant and deadly all in one.

In other news ...
Adolphe Sax was born today in 1814 in Belgium (oh, what a shame!) and of course invented the Saxophone. It was not until the birth of John Philip Sousa, exactly forty years later, that anybody wrote music which involved the playing of one.

5th November

All right, of course I'm bound to mention it. Today in 1605, the Gunpowder Plot was rumbled. Actually it had been rumbled weeks before because the government, in the person of Robert Cecil, knew every move the plotters made. Just for the record, the original figure on the bonfire was not Guy Fawkes, but King James I. So if you're out cadging money from old ladies, you'll impress them more if you grab them by the lapels and snarl in their faces 'Penny for the James! Penny for the James!'

In other news ...
My dear old uncle Robert, the Press Baron, mysteriously vanished today in 1991. He fell (or was he pushed?) off his yacht off the Canary Islands. We miss him deeply, of course, but it's not many Heads of Sixth Form at Comprehensive Schools who own a luxury yacht worth several million, so every cloud ...

Sadly, today finds me back at the chalk face after a nice half term break. With the nights dark and the mornings gloomy, I am just waiting now until the shortest day, when things begin to look up again. Chez Maxwell, Dec 21 is one of our favourite days, when the world starts spinning back towards spring. My mother in law, not a lady with a very merry disposition, prefers the longest day as everything from there is down hill to darkness and gloom. She doesn't even have a glass, never mind how full it might be.

4th November

Native Americans were kicking ass today in 1791. Little Turtle, chief of the Miami tribe, beat the Americans under General Arthur St Clair. He'd already beaten General Harmer on the Wabash. Where was this guy in the 1890s?

In other news ...
Anthony Eden said today in 1956, 'We are not at war with Egypt. We are in an armed conflict.' So that, children, is why a) we loused up the Suez crisis and b) why nobody remembers who Anthony Eden was.

Just a note to Ten Bee Aitch - the above will not be accepted as reasons in your GCSE mocks coming up shortly. You have been warned.

3rd November

Laika became the first dog in space today in 1957. She became the prototype for Pigs In Space if you're a Muppet fan. Come to think of it, she became the prototype for Pigs In Space if you're not a Muppet Fan. The Russians sent her into orbit on board Sputnik 2 and she reached Sirius (the Dog Star, get it?) last month. The Sputnik deniers of course don't believe a word of this.

What can you do with people like that?

In other news ...

Remember when American Presidents had cool names, usually of a classical or Biblical bent? There was Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, Ulysses Grant. What have we got today? Barack Obama. And tomorrow, if we're very unlucky? Mitten Romney!

2nd November

Officially, the day of the dead in Catholic Mediterranean tradition - hmmm.
Happy.

In other news ...
Today in 1903, the Daily Mirror was launched, specifically as a newspaper for women. great, I hear my good lady wife say, especially as that was the year the Women's Suffrage Union was set up. But wait, say I. The Daily Mirror's readership had a reading age of 8, so there appears to be a teensy bit of condescension somewhere.
Or is it just me?

1st November

L S Lowry was born today in 1887. He was one of those artists - Picasso, Klee, Mondrian, Klimt, Pollock and many, many more - who could draw and paint perfectly well, but just couldn't be arsed.

In other news ...
'A lie,' said Jim Callaghan, Britain's Prime Minister today in 1976, 'can be half way round the world before the truth has got its boots on.' That was 1976. Thanks to technology, Facebook, Twitter and Buboe, the speed of lying is much faster today.