29th November

Today was the day, in 1831, when the Duke of Wellington famously described his soldiers as 'the scum of the earth, enlisted for drink'. He went on to say (and this is hardly ever added to the quotation) 'but we have made men of them.'

Good old Nosey!

In other news ...

The first English newspaper went on sale today in 1641. It offered a dream fortified manor house; you could send for a CD of Thomas Tallis's Greatest Hits and the Sports Pages were full of the latest Real Tennis scandals in which the game's audience shouted racist insults at the players.

The start of a great tradition.

P.S. Sir Peregrine Leveson agreed and said he saw a great future for the Press and what a fine job King Charles was doing running the country.

18th June

It was a 'near-run thing' today in 1815 when Napoleon Bonaparte, arguably the greatest general in history, was defeated by a combined force of British and Prussian troops under Wellington and Blucher respectively. If you're British, you'll claim the British won it; if you're German, you'll claim it was down to the Prussians. If you're French you'll whine and whinge and promise to do better in the two world wars.
Ah ...

In other news ...
And on the subject of France in world wars, General Charles de Gaulle urged on his fellow countrymen today to fight on under German occupation in 1940. Gung-Ho! you might cry, except that de Gaulle said this over the radio from London, which, while not exactly a safe haven Blitz-wise, was certainly not under the Nazi jackboot.

8th May

Talk about hedging your bets and playing yourself down ... In 1815 Arthur Wellesley, the newly created Duke of Wellington, began his 100 days campaign today which culminated in his great victory at Waterloo. In case he lost however ( and he nearly did) he wrote a little package of excuses to Lord Stewart - 'I have got an infamous army, very weak and ill-equipped and a very inexperienced staff' ... He might have added, 'So if it all goes tits-up, it's not my fault, all right?'

In other news ...
Back in 1947 Henry Gordon Selfridge died leaving an estate of only £1544. Perhaps he'd spent all the rest at Selfridge's.

29th April

Confusing? Coincidence? One of those tricksy little things that the Muse of History (Simon Schama) throws at us now and again? Today, in 1769 Arthur Wellesley, Britain's most brilliant soldier, was born. 120 years later Edward Kennedy Ellington, destined to become a legendary Jazz musician, accomplished the same feat. Wherein the coincidence? Mr Ellington took the name Duke and Mr Wellesley got the title Duke of Wellington. So ... Duke Ellington, Duke of Wellington. Get it?

I shall be asking questions later.

In other news ...
The Age of Aquarius dawned today in 1968 when the musical Hair opened at the Biltmore Theatre, New York. The songs and dance routines were fine but nobody cared about that. They all went to see people getting their kit off among cries of 'Vulgar', 'Juvenile', 'Offensive' and 'Good Lord, is that possible?'

Ah, great days.

2nd April

You know how things get misreported in history? There was a classic today in 1802 when Horatio Nelson, he of the column, turned a blind eye to orders and sank the Danish fleet in Copenhagen harbour. His ship, the Elephant, was under heavy fire and he received an order from the commander in chief, Sir Hyde Parker (brother of Sir Regent's Parker) to pull out. Most people will tell you that Nelson put his telescope to his glass eye and said, 'I see no ships,' which is pretty ludicrous bearing in mind he was shooting at them. He didn't even say, 'I see no signal,' because somebody asked him if he saw the signal from Parker's ship (done by flags) and he replied, 'Damn me if I do.' Now that sounds more like Hor and very much in keeping with the Duke of Wellington's coming out confession of fourteen years later - 'Napoleon has humbugged me, by God.'

And yes, follower, I know that Nelson didn't have a glass eye, despite whole museum exhibits devoted to them!

In other news ...
The first Italian parliament met on this day in 1860 in Turin, which was odd, because the parliament building was in Rome. That pretty much set the seal on Italian politics from that moment on.

30th March

One of the screen's great hero baddies died today in 1986. He was a song and dance man straight out of Vaudeville but made his name in gangster movies with a wise-cracking style and a line everybody can do - 'You dirty rat!' If you want to see the late, great James Cagney at his best, watch his Shake Hands With the Devil in which he plays a deranged IRA member and Angels With Dirty Faces - that walk to the electric chair  can't fail to bring tears to your eyes.

In other news ...

The Spanish artist Francisco Goya was born today in 1746. He's the guy who painted Arthur Wellesley, Duke of Wellington, who used to appear on English money before they started using various ever-more-obscure people who had something-or-other to do with the Industrial Revolution. Goya's sketches of Wellington's war in Spain are horrific, with arms and legs hanging in trees. He painted a pretty spooky witch or two as well.

Even the Head of Art at Leighford High has heard of him, so he must be famous!

12th March

When I was a young shaver a couple of Americans wrote and performed a song called Mrs Robinson. This was voted record of the year today in 1969 and we all went to see the unknown Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate where it appeared again. So did Mrs Robinson, played by the deliciously naughty Anne Bancroft.
So thanks, guys, to Messrs Simon and Garfunkel, Hoffman and Bancroft for making a young man very happy.
'Here's to you, Mrs Robinson!'

In other news ...
The British army occupied Bordeaux today in 1813 under the command of Arthur Wellesley, the Viscount Wellington (he got the Dukedom later). This was the memorable occasion when he said of his sweating, grunting infantry 'I don't know what effect these men will have on the enemy, but by God, they frighten me.'
They frightened the French too and I'm afraid I don't have room today for a list of all their victories.
Ah, the Entente Uncordiale!