28th November

The German physicist Max [no relation] Planck said it all today in 1934 when he wrote, 'A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light but rather because its opponents eventually die out and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it.'

So, in reality, every word of the Bible is true; the earth is about 6,000 years old (and flat); Phlogiston occurs in every chemical experiment; Frank Sinatra had a good singing voice and babies are delivered by storks.

I knew it!

In other news ...
Horse racing was banned today in 1967 because of an epidemic of Foot and Mouth disease. Whenever such disasters occur, the government of the day leaps in with ludicrous, over-the-top measures. Foot and Mouth? Destroy all cattle. Salmonella in eggs? Destroy all chickens. Oil tanker spillages? Destroy all tankers. Global warming? Stop spraying your armpits.

Actually nature has been coping with all these issues for centuries, without the help of the British government or its biased, obsessive scientific think tanks.

And on a personal level, it would be not humanly possible to be in a room with up to twenty teenage boys without the addition of many gallons of Lynx. You may mock that most sledgehammer of deodorants, but without it ... I don't want you to even have to imagine it!

18th September

'What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance.' So wrote Jane Austen to a friend today in 1796. This quotation is for my old enemies in the English and Geography Departments really. Geographers please note - global warming as far back as 1796, so stop whingeing and spreading tales of doom and panic. Englishers - why is your darling writing such tosh (see Persuasion, Northanger Abbey etc etc) when she should have been writing about the extraordinary French Revolution happening only a few miles away at the time.

In other news ...
Another one for the English Department. Samuel Johnson was born today in 1709, in Lichfield (shame!). He is heralded today as one of the first lexicographers in the world. In fact he was a neurotic bossy-boots with a nervous tic who is famous only because an equally neurotic bossy-boots - James Boswell - wrote down every word the great man uttered. To see Johnson put firmly in his place, see Robbie Coltrane's performance of him in Blackadder III; perfect!

31st July

Cigarette commercials were banned today in 1965 on British television. This was a great shame because they all revolved around the suave and sophisticated and were great fun. Only jet-setting playboys such as Peter Stuyvesant and fascinating blokes in trench coats were ever alone with their Strands.

What do we have now? Tobacco kiosks in supermarkets with shutters down and sad old addicts hanging around pub doorways, inhaling desperately.

Isn't it about time our kind and caring society made lepers out of other minority groups, like vegans and global warmers?

And, just so you know (as recorded messages constantly remind us), I am not and never have been a smoker, although I was brought up by parents who, on waking, reached for their fags, their glasses and their teeth in that order.

In other news ...
Franz Liszt died today. So did Ignatius Loyola and Jim Reeves.

What is going on.

25th May

Oh, for heaven's sake - global warming again? On this day in 1990 (yes, just two years after snow fell in Syria etc etc) Margaret Thatcher was warning of the dreaded phenomenon and pledging that Britain would cut its emission of carbon dioxide by 30%. A UN report immediately responded that the reduction needed to be at least 60% to have any effect. The report warns of a 2 degree rise in temperature in the next 35 years (in other words, chaps, 13 years from now) and 6 degrees by the end of the 21st century. For all of us who have just shivered through the coldest April and May on record, that somehow seems less scary than Mrs T made it sound in 1990.

This day in history has been one of the busy ones so 'in other news' will just list a few of the absolutely stonking stories which began, ended or took place on this day.

• In 1935 Jesse Owens set five new world records and equalled a sixth all in one afternoon, limbering up for seriously p***ing off Hitler at the Berlin Olympics the next year.
• In 1969, Thor Heyerdahl set sail in a reed boat named Ra, hoping to relive the success of his Kon-Tiki expedition. I am assuming all went well, but I'm blowed if I remember what happened. I hate sequels, don't you? 
• In 1925 the Scopes 'Monkey Trial' began in Dayton, Tennessee. Scopes was accused of teaching the theory of evolution, against the state law. A fascinating case, but a much better film, Inherit the Wind starring the wonderful Spencer Tracy and Frederic March. They really do not make them that way any more.
• In 1916, Henry Ford spoke one of the most misquoted lines ever - he actually said 'History is more or less bunk.' Still not acceptable, of course, but better than the usual version of 'History is bunk.' And that, of course, is better than the version I often hear muttered by Nine Eye You.
• And finally, in 1768, Captain Cook set off to explore the Antipodes. And we all know how that turned out!

24th May

All of my faithful followers will know my views by now on global warming and all the other various doom merchants predicting the end of the world as we know it. It has to be said, however, that the weather over the last few weeks has been none too special (to put it mildly) but as ever, this is nothing new. On this day in 1988, snow fell on the Syrian desert and in Damascus for the first time in fifty years. When I think how demented Nolan becomes at the first flake of the white stuff - and he has seen snow in all of his winters so far - I can only imagine the hysteria among the sand dunes when everyone under fifty was experiencing snow for the first time. I wonder if anyone could remember where they had left their sledges?

In other news ...
The first Marx brothers film, Coconuts aired on this day in 1929. Don't get me started on the antics of Groucho, Karl and the gang, if only because I have watched several minutes of several of their films several times and to date can't find anything to laugh at, although I really have tried, honest. Sorry if that makes me a curmudgeonly old git, but that's just the way it is. The lines are funny - 'What's a thousand dollars? Mere chicken feed - a poultry matter' - but only when you see them written down, or hear them delivered by someone else! Harpo, perhaps.

PS - thanks to my faithful follower, I know now why Warren Beattie loses his sunglass lens. It is in homage to A Bout de Souffle starring Jean-Paul Belmondo in 1963. See - I knew someone would know!