31st May

Henry Ford has appeared in this blog already, due to his incredible disregard for history in his famous quote. Anyone who was thinking that he might be right should perhaps take his total disregard for the alphabet into account before deciding for certain - today, in 1927, after 15,007, 003 models made, the last Model T Ford rolled off the assembly line. What was it replaced by? The Model A.

Go, as Mr Ford's compatriots tend to say in these circumstances, figure.

In other news ...
In 1902, the generals commanding the Boers in South Africa surrendered to the British on this day. Kitchener, one of the least deserving 'heroes' in British military history, broke the nation by tactics such as herding the women and children into concentration camps where an estimated 20,000 - one in three of all those interned - died of malnutrition and disease. The peace treaty provided for the eventual self rule for the Boer republic, with the issue of votes for the native nations to be decided upon at a later date. Just how much later, no one knew at the time and probably a good thing too.

30th May

Today in 1990, France banned the import of British beef in case it carried the 'mad cow' virus. This was all a storm in a teacup of course, as food scares always are. But it was only tit-for-tat, really. We'd stopped importing their horses by 1565 and it was payback time.

In other news ...
One of the most famous voices in cartoon history was heard for the first time today in 1908. Mel Blanc, better known as Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck, is reputed to have taken one look at the obstetrics team around his cot and said 'What's up, Doc?'

29th May

What is it about 29th May? You might like to stay out of the water tonight because on this day in 1500 Batholomew Diaz, the Portuguese explorer, drowned during a storm off Brazil. Not to be outdone, on this day in 1911, William Schwenk [I kid you not!] Gilbert (as in Gilbert and Sullivan) drowned in his own lake whilst trying to save a child who had got into difficulties. And three years after that, more than 1000 people drowned when the Empress of Ireland sank in the St Lawrence River.

You have been warned!

In other news ...
I've probably said it before in these pages, but it's worth repeating. On this day in 1795 the Virginia Assembly objected to the Stamp Act imposed by the British (ie their government). The Virginians' argument was basically 'No taxation without representation', James Otis (inventor of the lift) ignoring the fact that because of the state of democracy at the time well over 95% of the British didn't have any representation either.

Brass neck or what? Why didn't we just declare war on the colonists and have done? Oh, wait a minute - we did.

28th May

On this day in 1932, Dutch engineers finished what was then the world's biggest dam (18 miles long) which turned the Zuider Zee into a huge freshwater lake. Don't be too impressed, however. In the good old days one little boy held back the sea with a finger in a hole in the dyke.
Hence the old joke - how many Dutchmen does it take to make the Zuider Zee.

In other news ...
You know how unfair it is when the wrong person gets the credit? Stand up Dr Joseph Ignace Guillotin, usually credited with the invention of the execution machine of the French Revolution. He was born today in 1738 and, as a member of the Revolutionary Estates General, advocated the contraption on humanitarian grounds because of its speed. The device had already been used in Scotland, Germany and Italy. Just think how peculiar it would sound however - 'Louis XVI was perhaps the most famous victim of Mrs McPherson/Frau Scherendorfer/Signorina Frescobaldi.'

Doesn't have the same ring, does it?

27th May

It isn't often I mention Belgium in this blog and I'm sure most of my faithful followers who have been to the country can understand why. This is why I am so pleased to be able to give it a little bit of a boost today. Don't read on, now - no cheating. You are thinking, that's odd, it isn't the anniversary of the Battle of Waterloo or anything. The poor old geezer is losing his marbles. No, it is .... trumpet fanfare and roll of drums .... that today in 1900, Belgium became the first democracy in the world to elect a government by proportional representation.

Exciting, wasn't it?

In other news ...
Vincent 'Mad Vince' Price was born today in 1911. Oddly enough, it was Peter 'Mad Pete' Cushing's birthday yesterday (he was born in 1913). Perhaps surprisingly, they didn't share billing on as many films as you would think, but, God, were they scary? I can feel the hairs standing up on the back of my neck just thinking about it. Both extraordinarily nice men, by all accounts. I'm glad to hear it - it would be very unfortunate if they were just cast to type!

26th May

Today marks the last organized resistance in the American Civil War, back in 1865. Resistance elsewhere had finished three weeks earlier, but it wasn't until today that the forces west of the Mississippi finally surrendered. Even then, the Confederate navy still held Charleston. Wars are always like this, they end, not with a bang, but a rather drawn out and scrappy whimper. Even today, there are many people who don't know the extent of the Civil War, which left an estimated half a million dead and many more crippled for life. The films based on the conflict have often been rather frivolous - with some notable exceptions, of course. Do I have to mention Gone With the Wind again, as the worst film ever made?

Of course I do!

In other news ...
In 1940 on this day, the evacuation of the beaches of Dunkirk began with the sailing of the flotilla of 700 or so rather motley craft from the shores of England. As in the war above, this day is often quoted as the day of the Dunkirk evacuation, but it wasn't half as neat as that and you only have to think for a minute to realise that you are not going to get 400,000 men or thereabouts off a beach in five minutes. Even so, it was the most amazing undertaking and remarkably successful. It was just as well for morale that no one knew at the time that no Allied troops would land on French beaches again until D Day on 6th June 1944.

25th May

Oh, for heaven's sake - global warming again? On this day in 1990 (yes, just two years after snow fell in Syria etc etc) Margaret Thatcher was warning of the dreaded phenomenon and pledging that Britain would cut its emission of carbon dioxide by 30%. A UN report immediately responded that the reduction needed to be at least 60% to have any effect. The report warns of a 2 degree rise in temperature in the next 35 years (in other words, chaps, 13 years from now) and 6 degrees by the end of the 21st century. For all of us who have just shivered through the coldest April and May on record, that somehow seems less scary than Mrs T made it sound in 1990.

This day in history has been one of the busy ones so 'in other news' will just list a few of the absolutely stonking stories which began, ended or took place on this day.

• In 1935 Jesse Owens set five new world records and equalled a sixth all in one afternoon, limbering up for seriously p***ing off Hitler at the Berlin Olympics the next year.
• In 1969, Thor Heyerdahl set sail in a reed boat named Ra, hoping to relive the success of his Kon-Tiki expedition. I am assuming all went well, but I'm blowed if I remember what happened. I hate sequels, don't you? 
• In 1925 the Scopes 'Monkey Trial' began in Dayton, Tennessee. Scopes was accused of teaching the theory of evolution, against the state law. A fascinating case, but a much better film, Inherit the Wind starring the wonderful Spencer Tracy and Frederic March. They really do not make them that way any more.
• In 1916, Henry Ford spoke one of the most misquoted lines ever - he actually said 'History is more or less bunk.' Still not acceptable, of course, but better than the usual version of 'History is bunk.' And that, of course, is better than the version I often hear muttered by Nine Eye You.
• And finally, in 1768, Captain Cook set off to explore the Antipodes. And we all know how that turned out!

24th May

All of my faithful followers will know my views by now on global warming and all the other various doom merchants predicting the end of the world as we know it. It has to be said, however, that the weather over the last few weeks has been none too special (to put it mildly) but as ever, this is nothing new. On this day in 1988, snow fell on the Syrian desert and in Damascus for the first time in fifty years. When I think how demented Nolan becomes at the first flake of the white stuff - and he has seen snow in all of his winters so far - I can only imagine the hysteria among the sand dunes when everyone under fifty was experiencing snow for the first time. I wonder if anyone could remember where they had left their sledges?

In other news ...
The first Marx brothers film, Coconuts aired on this day in 1929. Don't get me started on the antics of Groucho, Karl and the gang, if only because I have watched several minutes of several of their films several times and to date can't find anything to laugh at, although I really have tried, honest. Sorry if that makes me a curmudgeonly old git, but that's just the way it is. The lines are funny - 'What's a thousand dollars? Mere chicken feed - a poultry matter' - but only when you see them written down, or hear them delivered by someone else! Harpo, perhaps.

PS - thanks to my faithful follower, I know now why Warren Beattie loses his sunglass lens. It is in homage to A Bout de Souffle starring Jean-Paul Belmondo in 1963. See - I knew someone would know!

23rd May

A plea for help. On this day in 1934 bank robbers Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow were ambushed by police in Louisiana. In the ground-breaking, heavily romanticized film Bonnie and Clyde you may remember a scene just before the ambush in which Clyde is sitting in the car and one of the lenses drops out of his sunglasses. I have found no one who can explain the significance of this. Was it an accident on set and the cameras kept rolling? Does it have any deep-rooted symbolism? If you know ...

In other news ...
The Mounties were formed 139 years ago today. Bearing in mind they ride horses, wear broad-brimmed hats and scarlet tunics, it's a wonder they ever get their man.
But they do.

22nd May

On this day in 1795 the explorer Mungo Park set sail from his native Scotland on a voyage to Africa. It should have been a family affair, but he fell out with his brothers, Hyde and Regents, both of whom went off in a sulk to London.

In other news ...
Ex-President of the Confederate States of America, Jefferson Davis, was caught today while on the run from the Union in 1865. He was disguised as a woman and insisted he only ever did this on Thursdays when there was a 'y' in the month and anyway, he was doing it for charity.

21st May

The 'perfect' murder was committed today in 1924 when Richard Loeb and Nathan Leopold killed 14 year old Bobby Franks just for the hell of it. Fascinated by the Nietzschean concept of superman, Leopold and Loeb believed they were just that, except that one of them dropped his glasses at the crime scene (ah - always the one little mistake!). The case gave lawyer Clarence Darrow his finest hour and put the cause of antisemitism in the USA back fifty years.

In other news ...
Poor old Henry VI died today in 1471. Since he was under arrest in the Tower of London and his opponent, Edward IV, was king, it is likely the sad old bloke was murdered on the king's orders. Henry was a poet and saintly to the point of imbecility. He was the son of Henry V, the victor of Agincourt and all-round tough nut. Isn't it funny how often the great general's kids fall short of expectations? For example, Napoleon's son, the Emperor of Rome, caught a chill reviewing some troops and died.
Talk about chips and old blocks.

20th May

The Enterprise of England began (again!) today in 1588 when the Spanish Armada set sail from Lisbon. Galleons, galleases, carracks, pinnaces, sakers, falcons, culverins - ships and guns to invade England. The plan was poor. The idea was to sail to the Netherlands (than Spanish), pick up the Duke of Parma and his army and land somewhere on the East coast.
If Philip II had mounted a two-pronged attack - Parma from the East and the Duke of Medina-Sidonia from the south, I'd be writing this in Spanish today.
Via con Dios!

In other news ...
The Americans got it right today in 1895 when they declared income tax unconstitutional. In fact, all taxation is unconstitutional because it is introduced by a minority of people (in Britain the members of the Commons and Lords) which makes the government system an oligarchy, not a democracy. Why, then, do we pussyfoot around HMRC that should, in a true democracy, not exist?

19th May

The last great Liberal, William Gladstone, died today in 1898. He was the People's William, the Grand Old Man and there was a huge state funeral to mark his passing. It was downhill all the way after the GOM, right down to whatsisface who is currently deputy something or other.
I wonder how many sales of Wedgwood plates they've made with Nick Clegg (that's the blokey - it always comes to me in a minute) on them?

In other news ...
Rather depressingly, T E Lawrence, aka Ross aka Shaw aka Lawrence of Arabia, was killed today in 1935 swerving to avoid two stupid children swerving all over a country lane on their bikes. He was a fascinating, enigmatic man whose full story will probably never be known. He once said to the poet W B Yeats, 'I was an Irish nobody. I did something. It was a failure. And I became an Irish nobody again.'
See what I mean about depressing?

So, to cheer us all up - in yet other news - Dame Nellie Melba, inventor of the peach, or possibly ice cream, cream or raspberry sauce, history is silent as to the exact details, was born today in 1848 in Australia (well, somebody has to be!).

18th May

Budding authors who want to see their opi (opu? which declension is this?) turned into film - beware! On this day in 1832 French novelist George Sand (real name Amantine Dupin) published her book Indiana. It too 143 years for it to appear in film form, with Harrison Ford (real name, Harrison Ford) in the title role.
You have been warned!

In other news ...
'It is neither fitting nor safe,' said the Bishop of Rochester today in 1376, 'that all the keys should hang from the belt of one woman.' He was talking about the bad influence of Alice Perrers, who had got her hooks into King Edward III. Where, oh where, was Rochester when the Conservative Party chose Maggie Thatcher as their leader?
Answer: where it's always been. Somewhere in Kent.

17th May

Regular readers, please forgive me and new readers don't be put off by this very short blog today. It is the Mem's birthday so not only have I no time to waffle, as breakfast in bed and all the other accoutrements are calling, but as far as Nole, the Count and I are concerned, only one thing important has ever happened on 17th May and that is that she was born. So there we are; no other news, no snippets of history, just Happy Birthday to our very favourite person, with love.

16th May

Today in 1929, the very first Academy Awards were presented. The Academy had been created two years before by Louis B Mayer and the first 'Best Film' went to Wings from the Paramount Studio (not, as nepotism theorists might have expected, something from MGM). The golden statuette had not yet got the name 'Oscar' - it was still quite formally known as an Academy Award. The story goes that someone - presumably someone who hadn't won one - remarked that the figure, plunging a sword into a reel of film, looked like their Uncle Oscar and the name stuck. I personally smell a PR stunt - in the real world firstly, no one would have heard the remark and secondly, the uncle would have been called Merv or Burt and then I doubt it would have stuck quite so well.

In other news ...
Today is the birthday in 1905 of Henry Fonda, who starred in films too numerous to mention. Happy birthday, Henry - I can't say your films lightened my life as comedy wasn't really your thing, or even smiling much now I come to think of it, but you never turned in a bad performance. In one of those quirks that proves astrology wrong, also born on this day but some years later was Liberace - who really did brighten many lives, my mother's particularly. So thanks to you as well - I hope my dear old Ma has a front seat in all your concerts on the other side.

15th May

In 1990 today there was an ingenious attempt to hit HMRC where it hurts. The Inland Revenue claimed that Lindi St Clare aka Miss Whiplash owed a great deal of money in back taxes from her time as a brothel-keeper. She refused to pay, for the good of HMRC because had she done so, they would have been living off immoral earnings. If this was a case in TV's fabulous Boston Legal she would have won and we'd all have cheered. As it was, in the real world, the Establishment judge ruled against her. After all, the taxation system in this country has been immoral for years.

In other news ...
Today in 1718 James Puckle patented what was probably the world's first machine gun. Gatling and Thompson didn't really need to improve the gun much, but it had to be done because no one could bear the sniggering whenever anyone said, 'Don't you point your Puckle at me!'

14th May

'Every director,' said Sam Goldwyn today in 1939, 'bites the hand that lays the golden egg.' He may have made more quotable gaffes than anybody else in Hollywood but what did he care? On the same day he bought out millionaires Douglas Fairbanks, Charlie Chaplin and Mary Pickford to take control of the huge United Artists Studio.
'Bring on the empty wallets,' as the man himself almost said.

In other news ...
Lionel 'Buster' Crabbe, Navy frogman and oddball, disappeared today in 1956 while diving in Portsmouth Harbour near the Russian warship that brought Soviet president Nikita Khrushchev on a state visit. A headless, handless corpse was found some time later but it has still not definitely been identified as that of Commander Crabbe. Perhaps one day the former USSR will tell us what actually happened.

13th May

Pope John Paul II (sweet old boy, ran the Catholic church, you know the one) was shot today in St Peter's Square, Rome in 1981. His would-be assassin, Mehmet Ali Agea shot him four times (so His Holiness clearly had friends in high places) in protest at American and Russian imperialism. Presumably he also tried to murder the US President on the grounds that he didn't care for the way the church of Latter Day saints was being run. You couldn't make it up, could you?

In other news ...
Ronald Reagan hit the Presidential (as opposed to cattle) trail today back in 1979. His comment for the Press was 'I used to say that politics was the second lowest profession and I have come to know that it bears a great similarity to the first.'

Who said that guy was losing his marbles? How did he ever become President? Twice?

12th May

'There was an Old Man called Lear,
Who was born 1812, so I hear.
He wrote loads of tosh and was terribly posh,
And always ended the fourth line of any quatrain by feebly repeating the exact words of the first line, that repetitive Old Man called Lear.'

In other news ...
Bob Dylan, a music legend already, refused to appear on the Ed Sullivan television show today in 1963 because it was too 'square'. Isn't it embarrassing how dated that sounds now, in the era when we dudes are all with the brothers, hanging with our bitches. The Airmen in the Armstrong and Miller show have the Carpenter Maxwells in hysterics every time for much the same anachronistic reasons. Even Nolan has picked it up and I heard him say to his mother yesterday, from the bathroom, 'I done the teeth thing yesterday, blood.' I give the DI full credit for reaching the landing before collapsing in a giggling heap.

Although not bywords where music lovers gather, Mrs DI Carpenter Maxwell and I will be upping sticks and leaving Nolan to Mrs Troubridge's tender care on 29th June while we attend the Hop Farm Festival in Kent, where the aforementioned Bob Dylan will be, if not strutting then at least shuffling his stuff on the Saturday. We do have rather differing musical tastes which meet in the middle at The Levellers, on on the Friday. We will be clapping like loons at Buskers' Boulevard (especially if they manage to get the apostrophe in the right place) when the stunning Ryan O'Reilly Band are on, featuring the best double bass player in the whole world.

11th May

While the English garrison were at church today at Meerut in Northern India in 1857, mutineers of the 3rd Bengal Cavalry went on the rampage, attacking their unarmed white officers as well as their wives and children. The causes of the Sepoy War or Indian Mutiny are still being argued over by historians today but the slaughter of the innocents - it happened again in the House of the Ladies at Cawnpore weeks later - is never justified by a difference of ideologies.

In other news ...
Back in 1900 the title of US world Heavyweight was lost by 'Gentleman Jim' Corbett to Jim Jefferies. The fight lasted for 23 rounds. Men were really men in those days and of course Gentleman Jim's great grandson Ronnie fought as a budgie-weight before taking to comedy.

10th May

The worst blitz of World War Two on London hit tonight in 1941. Like all such disasters, figures are unreliable, but there were at least 1400 deaths and 100,000 incendiary fires all over the capital. The Houses of Parliament were hit, so was St Paul's, the British Museum, Westminster Abbey and every major railway station. The Ministry of Information announced the next day that 28 German bombers were shot down. In fact the figure was a mere eight and one of those crash landed, out of fuel, somewhere in Scotland and had nothing to do with the Blitz at all.
Or did it? The Messerschmidt in question was flown by Rudolf Hess, Hitler's deputy and if you think that's a coincidence you've been reading too much British and Nazi propaganda.

In other news ...
One of the greatest generals in the American army died today in 1863 of pneumonia and complications brought on by wounds he received soon after his brilliant victory at Chancellorsville. He was Thomas Jackson, known to all and sundry as 'Stonewall' because of his stubborn steadiness under fire. Ironically he was shot by one of his own pickets, a terrified teenager who lost his nerve and fired too soon in the darkness while on guard duty at the Confederate camp.

Personally, I wouldn't trust a teenager to point a rifle at me or anyone else for fear they would forget what they were doing and just pull the trigger to hear the bang and see the pretty bullet. It would have been better all round and certainly for Stonewall Jackson if the under twenties had been confined to pea shooters. The Sixth Form at Leighford High are certainly not allowed weaponry of any kind until they have completed at least five terms and then only if they can shoot the 'i' out of the school noticeboard at fifty paces.

9th May

If you're a fan of Boston Legal, you'll love the performance by Candice Bergen - 'I'm Schmidt' - and you'll no doubt remember her wowing us all in Carnal Knowledge, Soldier Blue and The Wind and the Lion to name but three excellent films. She was born today in 1946 (impolite though it is to mention a lady's age). Looking at photographs of her today, she is still as gorgeous as ever and must (like Dorian Grey) have a picture of herself in the attic - it's the only explanation. All over the world men are still saying 'Wow!' and women are saying 'Cow!'.

In other news ...
Lorenzo il Magnifico (the Magnificent) died today in his native Florence back in 1492. Leader of the Medici clan (early Mafiosi) he was a great patron of the arts, employing (among others) the cream of Renaissance artists Fra Lippo Lippi, Fra Hippo Hippy, Fra Zippo Zippy and the Marx brothers.

8th May

Talk about hedging your bets and playing yourself down ... In 1815 Arthur Wellesley, the newly created Duke of Wellington, began his 100 days campaign today which culminated in his great victory at Waterloo. In case he lost however ( and he nearly did) he wrote a little package of excuses to Lord Stewart - 'I have got an infamous army, very weak and ill-equipped and a very inexperienced staff' ... He might have added, 'So if it all goes tits-up, it's not my fault, all right?'

In other news ...
Back in 1947 Henry Gordon Selfridge died leaving an estate of only £1544. Perhaps he'd spent all the rest at Selfridge's.

7th May

'I let down my friends; I let down my country; I let down our system of government; I let down what was left of my hair' - so said 'Tricky Dicky' ex-President Nixon on this day in 1977.

Unfortunately for the rest of us, the term Watergate with which Nixon will for ever be associated, has been hijacked by journalists for every scandal, major and minor, ever since. Hence, to name but a few - Cowangate; Ramsgate; Margate and Tailgate.

Enough, already!

In other news ...
Scientists at Johns Hopkins University today in 1991 were given permission to clone the genes of Abraham Lincoln, the American President assassinated in 1865, to decide whether honest Abe had Marfan's syndrome, the symptoms of which are tallness and long arms.

You know that famous photo of Lincoln with General George B Maclennan (he of the saddle) at an army camp somewhere or other about 1862? Well, I'll grant you (ho ho - Civil War joke) Lincoln looks tall, but on that basis McLennan was really short and Mary Todd Lincoln, the President's wife, was a midget.

And nobody's cloning them, I notice!

6th May

Sadly for The Times newspaper and Hugh Trevor-Roper, the historian who said they were genuine, the Hitler Diaries were exposed as a fake today in 1983. So were the 'Ripper' Diaries of James Maybrick, the diaries of Samuel Pepys, John Evelyn, William Defoe and Adrian Mole.

I knew it!

In other news ...

Maximilien Robespierre, the 'sea-green incorruptible' French revolutionary and all-round psychopath, was born today in 1758. He lived next door to another over-the-top Frenchman, Vidocq, the thief-taker who is often acknowledged as the world's first detective.

Other famous neighbours include; Marcus Antonius and Cleopatra, queen of Egypt; Samson Antagonists and Delilah (a friend of Tom Jones); Lewis and Clarke (who lived in adjoining tents) and Morecambe and Wise.

5th May

As live television goes, it was pretty spectacular. On this day in 1980 a terrorist gang was holding hostages in London's Iranian Embassy and started shooting hostages one by one. As we all watched agog, black-clad SAS commandos abseiled in through the upper storey windows with tear-gas and guns and killed four of the rive terrorists, releasing all 19 of the hostages inside.

Fantastic!

In other news ...
Napoleon Bonaparte died today in 1821 on the rocky, volcanic island of St Helena. Rumours that he was bored to death by Hudson Lowe, the island's governor and effectively Bonaparte's gaoler are exaggerated. There was talk of murder by poisoning, especially in 1840 when his body was exhumed and shipped to Paris to its current resting place in Les Invalides. He probably already had stomach cancer or at least serious ulcers by the time of his final defeat at Waterloo, but it may also be that he died from arsenic poisoning as a result of breathing in the pigmentation from his bedroom wallpaper. He had once written to the Prince Regent asking to be allowed to retire to Cheltenham which he'd heard was rather nice. On balance, he was better off on St Helena - if he was bored there, what would he have found to do in Cheltenham?

PS - Napoleon's penis, black and one inch long, was offered for sale in a London auction house recently. There were no takers.

3rd May

Margaret Mitchell won a Pulitzer prize for her first novel today in 1937. It was a sprawling Civil War epic called Gone With the Wind and was later turned into the Worst Film in History (and I am including John Carter and Titanic in the list) starring Clark Gable.

Bad luck, Maggie; you can't win 'em all.

In other news ...
Niccolo Machiavelli was born today in 1469, one of the most misunderstood Italians of all time (see Benito Mussolini, Cicero, Julius Caesar, Silvio Berlusconi etc etc). His book Il Principe (The Prince) written in 1515 is a brilliant description of the realpolitik of his day, a time when nobody's virtue was overnice. His works were banned in most European universities and he himself equated with the Devil - 'Old Nick' - which is incredibly unfair. He was, after all, telling it like it was.

He has achieved a kind of immortality though - of all the names of the 16th century Italian political scene, which one has come down to us as an adjective? His!

2nd May

The Pink Floyd single Another Brick in the Wall was banned today in 1980 by the South African government. And quite right too. Rumour has it that the white supremacists in charge were convinced that the lyrics would inflame black schoolchildren. actually, of course, they were complaining about the appalling lack of grammar in said lyrics. they ought to have read -

'We would rather not have any education.
We would rather not have any thought control.
Excuse me, sir, would you mind not attempting to punish those children.'

There, that's much better.

In other news ...
Lady Nancy Astor was born and died on 2nd May, albeit several years apart. She is reputed to have asked her son, 'Jakie, is it my birthday or am I dying?'
Jakie answered, 'A bit of both, Mum.'

Isn't that cool?

I wonder if Shakespeare came out with the same idea in 1616?

'Faith, sirrah, is this the day I sprang full-formed into this breathing world or will I see the Scythesman spread his black cloak o'er everything?'
To which his daughter Judith may well have replied, 'I dunno.'

I break the habit of this Blog so far to wish a person of my acquaintance a very happy birthday. He is a Renaissance man of the most amazing kind, musician, writer, poet, actor, amazing son and incredible father and all round good egg. In case he hasn't guessed it from that introduction - Taliesin; you know who you are! Many happy returns.

1st May

'Oh, it is the First of May, ooh, it is the First of May,
Remember, lords and ladies, it is the First of May.'

Repetitious lyrics? No tune known to man? Yep, it must be an Olde English Folke Songe, all of them obsessed with this date. GIVE IT A REST!!!

Right; I feel better now.

In other news ...
On this day back in 1851, Queen Victoria (God Bless Her!) opened the Great Exhibition of Arts and Industry of All Nations. It was a brilliant triumph, although most of the exhibits were actually British (we are still waiting for the Russian entry to turn up). People said the palace of glass in which it was housed would fall down (it didn't); that London would become a hotbed of prostitution and drunkenness (it already was); that other places would be empty because everyone had gone to the Exhibition (they didn't).

They tried to reproduce the vast excitement of the whole thing in 2000 at the Millennium Dome.

Oh dear.