John Donne - pronounced Dun - the Dean of St Paul's, died today in 1631. After Shakespeare, Dickens, Wilde, Shaw, Marlowe, Sheridan and Enid Blyton, he is the most quoted writer in history. As I often say to Ten Aitch Dee, 'Never send to know for whom the school bell tolls; it may fall on thee.' My good lady, the Detective Inspector and I have a small and harmless hobby, of listening for John Donne quotes in unlikely situations. We think we have heard the ultimate now, so may have to rethink how we spend our leisure time. Out and about recently, Nolan, whose bladder is the size of a carrier bag when at home but a walnut when driving anywhere, needed a pee. We stopped at a peculiarly greasy cafe on the side of the road and because we are very polite people, bought something to eat and drink rather than just widdling and running. This may be why we have to stop so often of course - Nolan always seems to take in far more liquid than he gets rid of on these little pauses in our journey. Note to self - think about joining the thousands of people who let their kids wee on the hard shoulder ... Where was I? Yes, well, in this cafe there was suddenly a deafening crash as a tray full of crockery hit the deck and in the ringing silence which followed one voice, in a strong (and in a dark alley very menacing) Glaswegian voice said simply, 'No man is an island' and suddenly everybody rushed to help. Humanity is alive and well and driving a lorry somewhere in England.
In other news ...
Back in 1831, J W Goodrich of Boston (Mass) invented the rubber galosh. Now, I'm quite intrigued by this. Did Mr Goodrich invent one galosh, intending it to become a international sport - 'Premier League Galoshing'? Or did he perhaps only have one leg (as Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, may they rest in peace, would have it, was he a unidexter) thereby not needing to waste yet more time on as second galosh? Was he actually working on a revolutionary cloning technique at the same time so that he need ever only invent one galosh?
And when it comes right down to it, what is a galosh anyway? I am, frankly, at a galosh to explain it.
PS - I fully expect, dear Blog Follower, that galosh will now replace Stephen Fry's Garboldisham as the silliest word in the English language.
