7th April

One of the greatest inventors in history was born today in 1891. We've all heard of Thomas Edison, James Watt, James Dyson, Richard Arkwright (well, Twelve Pee Zed, perhaps not Richard Arkwright, more's the pity) but what of the late, great Ole Kirk Christiansen, I hear you ask?
Generations have been grateful to him and he even had a land names after his invention. What did he invent?
Lego.

In other news ...
Richard Turpin was hanged in York on this day in 1739. His story is fascinating because the actual psychotic low-life who once roasted an old lady's backside on a red hot grate until she told him where she kept her valuables was turned into a hero by a single novel - Harrison Ainsworth's in the 1830s. Turpin's horse, Black Bess, his legendary ride to York before they built the A1, his derring-do and concern for the poor is all pure fiction.

6th April

Richard the Lionheart died today in 1199 as a result of an infected arrow wound to the neck while besieging a castle at Chaluz in France. He is one of those historical characters who has been hi-jacked by the mythmakers, usually turning up at the end of Robin Hood films in time to realize that his nasty brother John has already been well and truly trounced by Robin himself.
The real Richard was only in the country for six months of his ten year reign, was probably homosexual and definitely psychopathic - like most of the Plantagenets.

In other news ...
Today in 1814 Napoleon Bonaparte was forced to abdicate after a whirlwind military career which saw him as master of most of Europe. He was to be sent to Elba which was a big mistake as it was only a stone's throw from his old stomping ground (France) and he was allowed to retain a largish bodyguard (10,000 men). Surprise, surprise, he escaped and started the whole mayhem all over again.
You can't keep a good dictator down.

5th April

Three Hollywood legends were born on this day, albeit a few years apart. Spencer Tracy was the first, in 1900, who lent his gravitas to a brilliant version of Jekyll and Hyde and Northwest Passage. He could also play a hard man - Bad Day at Black Rock - as well as high comedy - It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. Movie Trivia - Tracy's first job on screen was as a non-speaking robot, alongside his lifelong friend, Pat O'Brien.

Bette Davis followed in 1908, playing femmes fatales from The Letter to Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. Movie Trivia - she was famously taken off by Liz Taylor in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? - 'What a dump!'

Last comes the baby of the bunch, dear old Gregory Peck, he of the raised eyebrow. He was outstanding as Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird and I liked him (but nobody else did) as Captain Ahab in Moby Dick. But then I am one of the few people living who has read the book - although I had to have a good long lie down afterwards.
Movie Trivia - Atticus Finch was voted the greatest screen hero of all time in 2003, beating Indiana Jones and James Bond into 2nd and 3rd places respectively - and quite right too!

In other news ...
Poor old Oscar Wilde went on trial today in 1895. He brought his misfortunes on himself by bringing libel charges against the appalling Marquess of Queensbury, whose son Alfred ('Bosie') was one of Wilde's lovers. The whole thing backfired disastrously and Wilde, previously the darling of the West End theatre-going public, ended up in Reading Gaol with two years' hard labour.
The love that dare not speak its name was criminalized by Henry Labouchere MP in his Criminal Law Amendment Act of 1884 and was the famous occasion when Queen Victoria used the royal veto because she thought lesbians were the natives of Lesbos!
Aren't our royal family wonderful?

4th April

Francis Drake became Sir Francis Drake today in 1581 when he was knighted by Queen Elizabeth at Deptford on the deck of his ship, the Pelican, renamed the Golden Hind. He had left Plymouth on 13 December 1577 with 5 ships and a total crew of 160, as well as various sponsors.
He was now able to state conclusively that the world was indeed round as Magellan had already proved and Columbus believed. Presumably, if Drake had been knighted on 1 April, he would have told the queen the earth was flat.

In other news ...
Ben Hur won 11 Oscars today in 1960 and rightly so. I was still of very tender years when I saw this one and I loved every minute. There was rugged, gritty Charlton Heston, every boy's hero; gorgeous Haya Harareet as the love interest; Stephen Boyd as a thoroughly nasty Messala and of course that superb chariot race which still has me on the edge of my seat. it was probably the last film that coyly didn't show the face of Christ - just his lovely red hair from the back. For film trivia buffs and quiz compilers out there, the actor who played him was Claude Heater and wasn't even in the credits. Sheik Ilderim was played by Welshman Hugh Griffith and the wise man Balthazar by a Scotsman, Findlay Currie, but they were both excellent. Add in the Irish Stephen Boyd and it should come as no surprise to learn that Pontius Pilate (boo! hiss!) was played by an Australian, the onomatopoeic Frank Thring.

The only other film to do as well in Oscar terms was Titanic. Oh per-lease!

3rd April

Jesse James got his today in 1882. Known as 'Dingus' as a kid, he was one of the first psychopaths in history to blame his upbringing - in his case the Civil War. He and his brother Frank took to robbing trains after a killing spree with Quantrill's Raiders and he tried to go straight later, happily married with two kids and calling himself Thomas Howard. There was however a $10,000 reward out for him and that was claimed by Bob Ford who shot him in the back of the head while Jesse was standing on a chair straightening a picture on the wall. The result was The Assassination of Jesse James, probably the most boring film ever made. And as everyone knows, for me to find a Western boring, it has to be extremely boring indeed.

In other news ...
One of the greatest miscarriages of justice took place today in 1936 when Bruno Hauptmann went to the electric chair for the kidnapping of the baby son of Charles Lindbergh, the famous aviator. The police decided that Hauptmann was guilty largely because he was an immigrant and they may may have trumped up evidence against him.

Case closed? Don't you believe it!

2nd April

You know how things get misreported in history? There was a classic today in 1802 when Horatio Nelson, he of the column, turned a blind eye to orders and sank the Danish fleet in Copenhagen harbour. His ship, the Elephant, was under heavy fire and he received an order from the commander in chief, Sir Hyde Parker (brother of Sir Regent's Parker) to pull out. Most people will tell you that Nelson put his telescope to his glass eye and said, 'I see no ships,' which is pretty ludicrous bearing in mind he was shooting at them. He didn't even say, 'I see no signal,' because somebody asked him if he saw the signal from Parker's ship (done by flags) and he replied, 'Damn me if I do.' Now that sounds more like Hor and very much in keeping with the Duke of Wellington's coming out confession of fourteen years later - 'Napoleon has humbugged me, by God.'

And yes, follower, I know that Nelson didn't have a glass eye, despite whole museum exhibits devoted to them!

In other news ...
The first Italian parliament met on this day in 1860 in Turin, which was odd, because the parliament building was in Rome. That pretty much set the seal on Italian politics from that moment on.

1st April

Now, I know what you're thinking ... how can we trust anything he writes today?

And you'd be right!

See you all tomorrow!