7th July

A bizarre conversation took place in Buckingham Palace thirty years ago today when Michael Fagan broke into the queen's apartments. Of course it's not protocol to discuss royal chat sessions, but rumour has it , it went something like this:

HM   Good Heavens! What are you doing in my private apartments, you nasty little oik?

MF   I was supposed to meet Bill - you know, Bill Sykes - who was casing the joint, already.

HM   Aren't you confusing yourself with somebody else? A controversial Semite from London's
         Underworld, perhaps?

MF   No.

HM   Well, what do you want?

MF   I've got this lad, Oliver his name is, who wants to go straight. I taught him to pick pockets but he's got real career aspirations and wants to go on Britain's Got Very Little Talent. Nancy - you know, Del'Ollio - is trying to help him too, but Bill's threatening to cut her up.

HM   How can I help?

MF   Got any ciggies?

HM   I'll just call the Old Bill, shall I?

MF   Oh, he is here, is he? Thank God for that, I thought I'd got the wrong night. Talking of which, ma'am,
         any chance of a K? You know, for services to breakin' and enterin'? Just thought I'd ask.

In other news ...
Arthur Conan Doyle, the creator of Sherlock Holmes, the White Company etc etc, died today in 1930. But of course, he didn't. Having thrown himself spectacularly over the Reichenbach Falls, he'll be back in a minute.

31st March

On this day in 1905, Dr Arthur Conan Doyle had to resurrect his brilliant detective hero, Sherlock Holmes. Everybody thought the world's greatest detective had gone over the Reichenbach Falls with Dr Moriarty, arch villain and the 'Napoleon of Crime'. Sadly, no. The good doctor claimed an adoring public demanded Holmes' return, but I think he had a tax bill due.

In other news ...
Richard Chamberlain was born on this day in 1935. I remember watching Dr Kildare as a kid and was fascinated by rhe actor's ability to stop dead in the middle of whatever he was doing. This was a long time before they invented the Freeze-frame technology, so, good on you, Richard. You were ahead of your time.