25th October

All right, this is the one you've all been waiting for. Balaclava Day, 1854. When 678 men of Lord Cardigan's Light Brigade (most of whom are sitting in 54mm replica in my attic) rode into the Valley of Death and into legend after a confused order took them the wrong way.

'It was a mad-brained trick, men,' Cardigan said to the survivors afterwards, 'but it was no fault of mine.'

'Go again, sir?' an anonymous soldier asked him. Makes you proud to be British, doesn't it?

In other news ...
It was a good day for a battle today - Agincourt was fought in 1415 in the mud of Northern France. The French nobility were all but wiped out by a much smaller force, largely of archers, under Henry V. A while ago there was a move to have October 21 (Trafalgar Day) or October 25 (Agincourt Day) declared a public holiday in Britain, but that was shelved in case it upset our French colleagues in the EU. Actually, on the basis of that there ought to be no public holidays because I can't think of a day when we didn't knock seven bells out of them.

20th June

Errol Leslie Thompson Flynn was born today in 1909. They don't make them that way any more. Whether he was fighting bad Prince John in Robin Hood or the dastardly Surat Khan and the Russians in The Charge of the Light Brigade or dying against impossible odds in The Died With Their Boots On (probably the worst film in history, by the way), you always knew exactly were you were with this happy-go-lucky charmer. And how sensible to use his first and last names. Imagine how flat the posters would have looked - The Sea Hawk starring Leslie Thompson!

In other news ...
Broadway was taken by storm tonight back in 1930 in a show called Hot Chocolates. It starred 'Fats' Waller and 'Satchmo' Armstrong, along with 'Jazz Lips' Richardson and 'Baby' Cox. Also in the lineup but not credited were 'Forehead' McCluskey and 'Testicles' Marceaux.

4th June

Some of you may know that I am something of a cavalry buff, with several hundred 54 mm members of the Light Brigade saddled up for the Charge in my attic. 207 years ago today the first ever Trooping of the Colour took place in Horse Guards Parade. What was great about that is that it was carried out by regiments wearing what was then fighting gear - bearskin on their heads; elephant ivory on their sword-hilts; egret and swans' feather plumes. Sealskin busbies for the Hussars hadn't quite come in then, but somebody in the fashion-conscious Horse Guards was working on it.

In other news ...
Today in 1937 the worst machine in the history of mankind came into use in a supermarket in Oklahoma. It was the shopping trolley, designed to take the weight off your arms so that you are tempted to spend more. It had the essential features that its modern counterparts still retain:-

• Wheels that never go where you want them to
• Awkward projections that make them jam with others in car parks
• Kiddie seats into which kiddies positively refuse to go.

28th March

One of the biggest b*****s in British history died today in 1868. He was James Brudenell, the 7th Earl of Cardigan and he is famous for leading the Charge of the Light Brigade down the wrong valley at Balaclava during the Crimean War. He was arrogant, impetuous and deeply stupid, buying his way through the cavalry ranks with his enormous private income. His men quite liked him; to them he was Jim the Bear because he growled a lot. His officers detested him however and he made their lives hell just because he could. he should never have been given a regiment to command, still less a cavalry brigade.

Ironically, he died from a fall from his horse.

In other news ...
the British Navy sank 7 Italian warships on this day in 1941 at the battle of Matapan, off Crete. The British suffered no losses and the battle is commemorated every year during the Six Nations Rugby competition when there is always a similar scoreline between Fortress Twickenham and the Azzurri.