The Scottish king died today in 1057. I can't mention his name of course, in deference to my thespian friends (there's never been a law against that, by the way) but you know who I mean. Shakespeare made up the twaddle about the murder of Duncan, the mad wife, the tendency to see daggers everywhere and the marching wood of Dunsinane. And he pinched most of that from a bloke called Hector Boyce who went on to write the screenplays of several of the Hamish Macbeth (oh, damn!) series.
In other news ...
I had to put my cane away today in 1977. Actually that's a bit of a metaphor. I never used the cane in my life (my private life is my private life) and note how sneaky it was of the government to ban corporal punishment in schools during the summer hols - how are you enjoying the hols, by the way, parents? Tired of the little dears yet? They can be tiring, day after day, can't they?
Where was I? Oh yes - I didn't use the cane, I just used the old, tried and tested methods of plugging little delinquent Johnny into the mains, hanging willful Sarah up by the hair and forcing the whole of Seven bee Oh to eat a Jamie Oliver school dinner.
Parents - don't try this at home.
