14th December

Roald Amundsen, the Norwegian explorer, reached the South Pole today in 1911, the first man to do so. He left the Norwegian flag there and a note for Robert Falcon Scott leading a British team trying to beat him there. It simply said 'Bobby - Nah-Nah-di-Nah-Nah. Love, Ro.'

In other news ...
Max [no relation] Planck came out with the quantum leap notion in Physics today in 1900. Not everybody was impressed. Isaac Newton turned in his grave and Alfred Nobel coined the expression 'thick as a Planck'.

13th December

Leighford General Hospital.

No, no. I's nothing, really. They say I'll be out by Christmas.

Jacob Fussell made history today in Baltimore in 1903 when he invented a cone for eating ice cream. No spoon was required and there was no mess. But somewhere along the line it all went pear shaped. I can remember in the 1980s we were all given a special phone number to report the number of cones on Motorways.

Where did it all go wrong?

In other news ...
Lord Alfred Douglas, known as 'Bosie', the friend of Oscar Wilde, was sentenced to six months in gaol today in 1923 for libelling Winston Churchill. Now, I loathe Alfred Douglas and I loathe Winston Churchill, so it's a bit of a win/lose situation for me.

12th December

'I called the New World into existence to redress the balance of the Old' said George Canning, the British foreign minister today in 1826. He was referring to the fact that Britain had given cash, recognition and above all the guns of the Royal Navy to the new South American republics trying to break away from Portugal and Spain.

And how did they repay us? They hid escaping Nazis after 1945 and invaded the Falklands in 1982.

Thanks, guys.

In other news ...
In New York today in 1907, a statute was passed insisting that girls about to be married should sign affidavits declaring their age and good conduct. This is clearly a good idea. My good lady wife has just read this blog over my shoulder and 

11th December

Herbert Asquith, the politician, said today in 1920 - 'Things are being done in Ireland which would disgrace the blackest annals of the lowest despotism in Europe.'

That's a bit of a harsh description of the setting up of Boyzone, if you ask me.

In other news ...
Charlie Chaplin's bowler and cane were sold today in 1987 at Christie's auction house for £82,500. His boots went for £38,500. Sadly, his underpants failed to reach their reserve.

10th December

It may surprise you - it certainly surprised me - to discover that the first territory in America to give women the vote was Wyoming, 143 years ago today. Then I realized that there were 428,000 men in Wyoming in 1869, 3.2 million cattle and two women.

Heigh ho.

In other news ....
Alfred Nobel won the world's prize for biggest idiot today in 1892 when he said that his dynamite invention would put an end to war. On the contrary, it increased battlefield casualties a hundredfold.

Nice one, Alfred - back to the drawing board, old son!

9th December

Anthony van Dyck died today in 1641. He was court painter to Charles I and his portraits are to die for, especially his use of light on silks and satins. As we've noted before in these pages, he was the only one of the van Dyck family not to appear in Diagnosis Murder.

In other news ...
Clarence Birdseye was born today in 1886. I am going to resist any unpleasant jokes about cryogenics and just say how much I love Clarence Fish Fingers.

8th December

Sammy David Jnr was born today in 1925. Billing himself as a 'one-eyed Jewish black man', his stand-up was legendary. He used 25 pounds of brylcreem on his hair everyday and was the fastest man with a six-shooter never to appear in a Western.

In other news ...
Thomas de Quincey died today in 1859. He suffered from facial neuralgia, gave up school and Oxford University, lived as a beggar in London, was constantly broke and smoked opium. Despite all this he lived to be seventy four. What an advert for declassifying drugs!